This is a list of George Zimmer Stories, a meme and copypasta described as "A textual meme where one pretends they are businessman George Zimmer while posting about some absurd event/scenario in all caps. This piece of text always begins with "HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE." (unless they are posing as someone else in the same style as this) and always ends with "I GUARANTEE IT"."
There are none I've found yet, I've just created this page for when there will be some available in the archive.